side note: this post is self-evaulation---
i often feel like i get walked on. the majority of people that i have heard use the previous statement usually mean that they get taken advantage of...or used. i dont feel like people take advantage of me. if i feel someone is asking me to do a lot of things for them and they are just using me, i try and put an end to it. as soon as i realized a relationship of mine had a flaw, and that it was she who was treating me as her inferior, i put a stop to her being allowed to think that way. where i feel 'walked on' is in a bit of a different arena. i let people not care what i think. i dont say the things that people want to hear...i stick up for what i believe in...i do not stick up for what i think. for me, those are two different things. i can stick up for my faith, what i believe the role of music is in church, and what i know my role is as a youth group sponsor. BUT...i cannot sitck up for what i think when it comes to you saying something hurtful and hurting my feelings or i would rather do something else with my afternoon than you...however i wont tell you because i am the easy going relaxed one who just goes with it and doesnt seem to care what we do.
how is it that i can defend my beliefs but not what i think?
i can tell someone if i have an issue with them and be straight up about it. however, i cant just spill to someone how i feel on something...i have to be asked and then again, i doubt you actually care. i feel unlistened to. like if i were to desperatly need to talk about something, you wouldnt care because you have better things to do and im not dare going to bug you with it unless i know you really want to hear it. is this a female mind game? im not sure....hmm...
if someone pisses me off because they did something against their or my beliefs, i make sure we talk. but if they royally insult me...i probably wont say a thing.
im just a door mat...always saying welcome and openly giving the invitation to be walked on. kind of a lonely feeling...thinking that maybe what you feel isnt as important as what everyone else feels...and then...thinking you dont have anyone to share that with.
at least i have my trusty blog ;)
2 verdicts:
Mrs. A.
Thanks for stopping by my site. Enjoying yours as well.
yup- i know exactly what you mean. my ideas of fun, or time well spent, exciting..or even what is important is different than a lot of people and it stinks when others either:
a)don't realize the difference, much less appreciate the difference, and think i'm the exact same person as them
b)think their way is the only way.
PMS is probably the main time when i cant deal being "doormatted" LOL.
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